Until you reach your mid-twenties, not much, unfortunately. Besides maybe her taking an interest in you. A young man likes anyone who likes him, mostly. That said, they’ll be those who oppose this view, but I’d just argue that they are not in touch with themselves enough to realize their true, instinctual, feelings. Young dudes, all you care about is looks, don’t fool yourself.

Of course, I shouldn’t generalize. Everyone is different, but for the most part, young people are more superficial, when it comes to romance than anything else.

Once you have a long term relationship or 2, or 5, under your belt, you began to shift perspectives. You begin to realize that you’ve only really been pursuing the opposite gender for her looks. I mean, yeah, once things get going, you can easily fall for the other person, but that initial interest has always been based solely on looks.

Now, even with experience, initial interest is still going to be based on looks a bit. Or a lot. The thing is, now you have learned not to base it solely on looks. You have learned a hot girl can suck. In fact, a lot of hot girls suck.

So now, when a woman you deem attractive catches your eye or sparks your interest, if you can muster up the courage to attempt to break the ice or start a conversation you are on the lookout for a few things.

Does she need to constantly be surrounded by other people? A woman with hobbies of her own, that do not necessarily involve other people is interesting. Very respectable. Maybe she reads novels, or collects rocks, or is really into cooking. Anything. But this is a pretty good indicator that she is not terribly insecure, and a good candidate to not suck.

How is she dressed? Is there even a hint of modesty there? or, on the flipside, is she ashamed of the way she looks and is trying to hide it. Nobody really wants the girl that’s going to dress in a way where you can tell what she looks like naked without having to talk to her. Not for more than a night or two anyway. And nobody wants the insecure one either. We learned that they tend to suck in our teens and early twenties. Does she have some sort of creative element to her outfit? Like something you don’t normally see? Because that would be interesting.

How does she carry herself in a conversation? Is she constantly being silly? or at least waiting for me to be funny, and not really interested in the more serious stuff when it comes up? Constant silliness is a pretty good indicator that maybe you haven’t had those 1 or 2 or 5 relationships I mentioned earlier, and you are still a bit too immature. You haven’t been knocked down a peg yet. Can we have a serious discussion about philosophy, or science, or World War II, or something? Because that would be interesting.

Can we hang out without spending money? Okay, the first few times we hang out, sure, I’ll buy you dinner and drinks or something. Cool with me. Now we are getting to know each other a bit better. Do you want to take a walk in the woods, or go on a picnic, or come watch Netflix, or play a boring game, or come over and cook/let me cook? Do we always have to go out where the public can see us? If you are more only interested in going on dates with me, it probably means you like being seen out somewhere. You want to come across interesting or popular to the rest of the world. But, I’m over here. Don’t you want to get to know me? A woman who is interested in me, over the world and other people around her, is interesting.

What are you afraid of? What keeps you up at night? As long as the answers to these questions are not superficial or make you sound like a snob, a woman who is comfortable honestly admitting this type of stuff can be downright sexy. I can tell if you are being genuine, and are actually trying to confide something in me. A confident woman, interested in me enough to tell me her secrets is interesting.

Obviously, this is a bit exaggerated. When you are out there in the dating world, things come a bit more naturally, and not a ton of rational thought is always used. Really, what will make you interesting, is to just be yourself and not worry about everyone else.

Really, what will make you, a woman interesting to me is to just be yourself and not worry about everyone else.

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